Mr. Yezel and I are Catholic. A couple weekends ago we “had the privilege” of attending an engaged encounter weekend. We expected the worst. Mr. Yezel and I are not hard-core and we don’t have a “hard-core strict priest” either. Upon meeting our priest he cracked a joke at why it took Mr. Yezel five years to marry me. He…is…funny but sadly not the priest that is marrying us since we are getting married five hours from where we live. Regardless, we went into the weekend expecting people to be standing above us crying out “MAY THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPEL YOU.”
Luckily, this was far from what really happened.
There were annoyances. An example of this: I had a female roomie and Mr. Yezel had a male roomie. It was oh-so familiar to dorm living – remember those awesome single size beds – with the addition of a full bath in the room. But other than the sleeping set-up, it was actually tolerable, in fact, enjoyable. It was nice to dedicate an entire weekend to just “us”. There were no interruptions, just time spent on “us”.
Apparently when they handed out the rooms, they split them via church. My roomie went to the same church as I did. And Mr. Yezel’s roomie was my roomie’s fiancé. The boys were trouble together at night. The first night there, my roomie and I crashed around midnight. The boys stayed up until three in the morning playing cards. They even met a couple other guys. The next night, everyone hung out in our room chit chatting. We quickly became friends with both of those couples. Leaving the weekend we exchanged numbers and reminded everyone to “befriend” them on facebook.
A couple weeks later we had a BBQ and my roomie and her fiancé came. They were very similar to us. They had been together for a while and had bought a house together. Mr. Yezel and I could see us all hanging out together in the future.
Recently, when I jumped on Facebook expecting to see fun “wedding” related updates about showers, the month till, etc, etc, I saw something completely different. My roomie, from that weekend, had left some upsetting status updates. “Sad”. Being one status in particular. I asked Mr. Yezel if he had spoken with his roomie – was something happening to them, their doggy, their house? He didn’t know anything. It really bothered me but I didn’t want to push. One of my friends told me I needed to bug my roomie, it was the only way to find out if she were okay. “Real friends pry, even when we don’t want to open.” So I contacted the roomie. Turns out the couple had decided to go their separate ways. I told Mr. Yezel and instantly we were both sad. “I wonder what went wrong?” “They seemed so happy?” “Does this mean we can’t hang out anymore?”
And then suddenly it hit us. Not everyone makes it. Mr. Yezel and I have something very special. But, our “something special” has didn’t just suddenly show up one day. It has been work.
Is that the difference?
Mr. Yezel and I work at making our relationship exactly what we want. Was it smart that we waited so long to get engaged – or was it smart to have a long engagement? The two of us, when we got engaged agreed that this would be the only time we would get married. We don’t believe in divorce, but we do believe in work. If something is to happen to us in the future, let me tell you, we will be working our butts off to keep it the way we want. Not everyone can do this. What we have, who we are, and what we want have created a very special thing.
And this special thing has me so excited for the next coming chapter in our lives. I honestly can’t wait to turn the page.