“So, how are you liking married life?”
We’ve been asked this question a lot. We were asked it when we were weeks into our marriage. Seriously, even the day after our marriage. Don’t get me wrong. Mr. Yezel and I have been together for a long time. We were engaged for 2.5 years. I thought when we bought the house, being married would be the same thing as being engaged. So when people asked how our lives were going, I would reply with: “the same I guess, but now I get to rock lots of sparkilies.” But upon review, that is wrong. It has taken me until now for me to finally relay what its like. It has been amazing. I love the fact that my husband is there for me. I love the fact that I am there for him. I love the fact that in mere months we will be attempting to begin our family. I love that he’s my cheerleader. I love that I’m his number one fan. With him I’m reaching my goals – be that school, be that weight loss, be that just slowing down and recognizing the simple things in life.
“I got an A in the class I was taking on Tuesday nights!”
“Wonderful Yezel, but would I expect anything less from you? You’re so smart and lovely. And I can’t wait for you to finally have a classroom of your own. You will be an amazing teacher.”
“And….I love you.”
For the first time I can really see the two of us, old together. I see him still holding doors for me in the future (although we may be blocking those younger hoodlums from getting inside from where we are). I still him still holding my hand when we walk (even if we’re riding rascals – and on that note, I can see lots of racing going on too). I see him still finding random tickle spots on my body (hoping he doesn’t make me laugh so hard my future dentures fall out). I still see him rubbing my back if I don’t feel well or holding me if I’m upset (probably due to my Hawkeyes losing – although that never happens).
I think, scratch that, know, I am a very lucky person. Not everyone finds love in their lives, and if they do, not everyone gets to keep it.
In April of last year, Mr. Yezel and I went to a wedding for a cousin in his family. It was a cute, simple wedding. We had a nice time and gleamed with excitement since our wedding was months away.
“I can’t wait to get married to you!”
“Either can I.” We would say (over and over again, believe me this).
At a recent family event, Mr. Yezel and I stumbled across the cousin. “HOW IS MARRIED LIFE?” we beamed!
“Oh yeah, its ok.”
We were pulled aside a couple minutes later and explained that the cousin had refused to bring her new husband to Christmas gatherings. In fact, she had moved out of their house.
“Oh boy, I feel really bad.”
“No, she’s not telling anyone. I think she’s waiting to see if things work out.”
Facebook is the devil. You can find out so much information from facebook. So I did a little search of the cousin. Over the past week she had moved again, this time closer to us. So I invited her out to a drink and dinner. Then I realized she had been posting some unique updates. She was “meeting with a lawyer”, “one expensive errand done”, “There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction”, and “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves”. I went to Mr. Yezel. We pulled up facebook together to realize that she had even changed her name on facebook back to her maiden name.
“Wow, already, I’m sorry…that’s probably rude?” Mr. Yezel said.
“No, I guess they were unhappy?”
“I would say so. That’s too bad for them. They were together for a really long time. They always looked happy to me.”
“Maybe marriage wasn’t the right choice for them, especially if they ended it before their first anniversary?”
“I’m thinking that might be so.”
Marriage isn’t for everyone. But while I know that, I’m also sitting her ecstatic that I’m married to my Mr. Yezel and feeling lucky that I’ve found my one true love because marriage was for us. And we are excited to state: married life is the best.